Camera Hunting

Shortly after my last post, my dad took me to Target to buy my new camera for my birthday. I wanted this pink Sony camera that was really nice, and was a reasonable price. But they only had one left and it was the display model. It looked really beat up, so I passed on that one. They had a nice Casio that I liked, but of course they didn't have that one is stock either. Thus we moved on to Best Buy. But their cameras were way overpriced. So our last resort was Wal Mart.

I ended up buying a red Kodak. His name is Rupert :D


I'm having problems with him already though u.u It keeps freezing up, to the point that no matter what button I press nothing happens. It won't even turn off. Then I have to take the battery out. And then it will be fine again. It's pissing me off to be honest. I might take it back and get a warranty.

In other news, I went to church last night :D I saw Rebecca, and Cassie, and Saun, and Monica for the first time in a long time. We missed eachother bunches. When I first walked in and was looking for Rebecca, Derek and I made eye contact. But other than that, that's the only contact we made all night. I sat two rows infront of him. I could literally feel him staring at me. Or that was just my imagination. I hope it wasn't. Seeing him for the first time in a while, especially after I've just been heartbroken by him, wasn't as big as a deal to me as I thought it would be. Maybe it's just because it's been so long, and I've had time to deal with it.

Whatever it is, that little burst of pain inside of me still won't go away no matter what I tell myself. He may be over me. But the least he could do is talk to me. You would think knowing that you like eachother would bring two people closer. We barely even talked after we figured that out. Normal people would have done something about it. But no, we just sat around and did nothing about it. And now that there is virtually no hope for there to be an 'us', I have to sit around and wait for my feelings to slowly fade, like his. How lovely.

Change Is Good

Most of you probably remember my blog being titled Shea Likes Sushi, but I decided it was time for a change. I know that it's usually normal, to keep the same blog name, but I didn't like my other one very much. "A Day In The Life", or "Story Of My Life" would have been a better suited one for me. But I don't have the most original imagination in the world apparently, because they were all taken.

But I like this name the most. Because to be honest, I pretty much define disaster, whether it be good or bad. [: And I know I keep changing my template, I'm sorry. I like change obviously :P My lovely friend Irene referred me to Blogskins.com, and I tried that out, but I did like the fact that I would've had to add a Cbox, instead of comments. I'm just picky like that. ;)

Hopefully I won't get super bored again anytime soon, and decide to change my name. I think I'll have this one for good. And by the way, as far as I know, I'm definetly going to church tomorrow. It'll be my first time seeing all my friends [*cough*andderek] in about, three weeks I think. I'm kind of nervous about seeing..Derek...but I'll deal. Everyone has apparently missed me on my time away, and Rebecca has told EVERYONE my birthday is Friday. Great. But it's nice to know I have so many great friends, because I'm getting constant texts asking me if I'm coming tomorrow, so they can give me a present. I love my friends :P

P.S HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! I hope you're wearing your green...I forgot too ;)

Secret Mission: Not As Planned

I had one of those weekends , where you do nothing but waste your 48 hours on the couch, napping and watching whatever is on T.V. It was a very much needed weekend. So while my mom and I vegged out on the couch, I was planning my birthday party in my head. Or if I'm even having one, really. I know I'm getting to the older age where it's not 'cool' or necesarry to have one, but I want one, so bleehh :P

And I swear, everytime I came up with a good plan, my mom had something wrong with it. And something my mom said last night caught my attention. I literally had the perfect plan, I even said I would make my friends leave early if it pleased her. And what does she say?

"Shea...just...keep your Friday plans open, ok? Drop it, maybe something else will come around." That comment, and suspicious little smirk my dearest mother gave me right there, confirmed my idea that she, and my friend Rebecca were planning something.

Flashback to two weeks ago.

I'm sitting at my computer [as usual] and the phone rings. My mom yells for me to tell me it's Rebecca, but answers for me. So as I make my way over and hold my hand out for the phone, my mom is talking to her, and motions me to go away. I was like all WTH?! Why is my mom talking to my friend?! So I go back on my computer, while catching a couple of comments my mom made while talking:

"That's so sweet!"; "How nice of you to think about that."; "Yeah it's March 20th"; "I'll definetly get back to you on that, that would be so cool."

Call me nosy, but the little comment about "March 20th" [my birthday of course] got me thinking...THEY'RE PLANNING A SUPRISE PARTY OMG!!! My mom finally handed me the phone after 10 minutes. The first thing I said to Rebecca was, "Sooo how's my suprise party going?" She acted like she had no clue what was going on, then stuttered and stumbled around for an excuse.

So back to present day, I really hope this 'Suprise Party' is the whole reason for my mom avoiding the topic of planning my own party 4 DAYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY. If not, I shall be livid. I'm pretty sure it is though. I love being observant. Some of you might call it being nosy. But hey, you say p-oh-tay-toh I say p-oh-tah-toh. ;)

Wednesday...

Well my birthday plans have taken a major turn since my last blog. My mom decided that I don't have to do presentaion at my acting school next Friday because well...it's my brithday. I would want to have a handful of friends spend the night that next Saturday,and go to Bouncerama [a place with a bunch of moonwalks and fun jumpy stuff :P] ;) Yeah, I want to have my 14th birthday party at a kid's place, because I'm cool like that.

I ended up not going to church on Wednesday, my mom forced me to go to acting instead u.u But I had fun at acting, and I told my teacher that my partner and I wouldn't be at presentation considering it's nine days away, and we don't even have a scene to rehearse yet.

I carpool with a friend to acting. We're in different classes, and they're all at the same time except Wednesay's, but I never really go on Wednesday's so it usually didn't matter until yesterday. His class was a full hour before mine. So while my mom and I were killing time time at Starbucks, we noticed a cute little perfume shop across from it. We went in it and it was amazing. The dude who worked there was a genius. He could make perfumes that smelled exactly like really expensive stuff, but for only 15 bucks o: I bought a perfume that smells like candy :D It's awsome. I forget the name of what it was suppossed to smell like though, it was really fancy and would have orignially cost 80 dollars [: So I'm sniffing my wrist's nonstop now. Just thought I would let you know that.

10 MORE DAYYS

As most of you do not know, my birthday is March 20th [: I'm super excited for it. I was going to have a couple of friends spend the night on my birthday since it's on a Friday this year, but no. I have presentation at my acting school that night T_T I was really bummed when I figured that out, I don't want to go, really, but I'll deal. Alot of my freinds are there, so that's good enough :3

However there is a Twilight Dvd Release party going on that very night at Hot Topic in the mall from 10:00 pm to 1:00 am which I am going to with Malia :D So I guess that counts as a mini party :P I'm pretty excited for that. I'm sure I'll do something else on another date, I just don't know what yet.

I really want this one pink digital camera, for my brithday, and I've made that well aware to my parents ;) My dad FINALLY called about my texting last night, so now I have texting again! My fingers are sore already from all of the people I've been texting :P

On to another subject: Derek. My last blog about him was pretty depressing, but I think I'll get better in time. I've confronted Rebecca about the other night, and she seems to have understood and apologized. I haven't gone to church on Wednesday in two weeks, so I don't really know what to expect tomorrow when I do go. I'm kind of nervous about that. But so far I've accepted the fact that I'm going to have to move on. It won't be a piece of cakeor anything, but it's better than not trying.

Well, I have to go babysit in 20 minutes, and I look like complete rubbish, so I'm off to go get ready :D Toodles!

Stupid Boys, I'm Going Gay T_T

As I've said, Derek deosn't like me anymore. He likes one of my best freinds Rebecca, who is also best freinds with him, but likes him too. Just great. She was scared I would be mad at her, but of course I never would. She took it extremely well when she figured out he liked me. She put on a happy face for me, and I couldn't ask for anything more. Of course I barely ever talked about him when she was around because I wasn't sure how much it would hurt. And now that I'm in her shoes, and it hurts so freaking much. It deosn't help when he's all she talks about either. Then she has to add in snide little remarks. Like last night she called me, and this is a bit of our conversation. I remember it clearly, because it was like a stab in the heart to me:

Rebecca: And so this time instead of me saying I love you first, he said it. He said it to ME first Shea. And it was so amazing. He never said I love you to you, did he Shea?

Shea: No, but that's because I wasn't best friends with him, and we were to shy to talk to eachother.

Rebecca: Well he says it to me all the time, but this time he said it first!

Shea:...Umm.ok. That's cool.

Rebecca: Don't be jealous, Shea.

Shea: I'm not. And I have to go now. -click-

So yeah I hung up on her because she went a little far on that one. No they're not going out, they're just really good friends right now. I'm afraid they won't be just friends for very long though. And now I am mad at someone. Myself. I'm mad at myself for just sitting there and not doing anything about Derek and I. But I had my reasons. I would have absolutely had to come to Cassie first and asked her, since she's my freind, and Derek is her ex. But Derek didn't want anyone else knowing. So I couldn't. And there was also Rebecca, I didn't want to hurt her.

But apparently Rebecca had told Cassie the whole story early on, but never told me she knew. Because she had known that I would have come straight to Cassie and asked her, and Derek and I could have lived happily ever after. But I mean, I guess I don't blame Rebecca, it's a tough position to be in. But I would never have said things like that to Rebecca like she did last night, she just doesn't know when to stop, I don't know if she knew what she was doing...but it hurt. Alot.

I don't know how to tell her to stop talking about him. Because to be honest, I would just like to forget about him. But then she'd just take that as me being mad, or jealous. Which I am jealous, but she deosn't need to know that, because she would take things WAY over the top because she's a drama queen. And she would probably tell Derek too, which I definetly do not want. Sad thing is, I'm still head over heels for him. And I don't know how to cope, because I never want to see his face again for as long as I live. Not because I'm mad. Just really sad. I'm scared that I'll break down and cry or something. I know they'll be other guys. Tons of them. But right now all I want is him.

So I'm not going to confirmation tonight, one because I got in trouble and my mom refuses to drive me. Two, because I didn't fight back about that decision either, or maybe I could have gone. I would rather not go, though. I would probably be neglected since I'm almost positive Rebecca would be by Derek's side all night. And if she did acknowledge my existence, she would most likely just talk about how flirty they are with eachother, and all that fun stuff. And I mostly don't want to go there because I don't want to see him. I'm scared. I'm such a coward. But not to be a drama queen myself, the thought of him makes me want to cry. I can't be sure how I'll react to him face to face.

So as you can see I'm not coping very well right now.

Exciting and Depressing News

Ok, good news first:

IT SNOWED YESTERDAY! I was at my freinds house and it had just been raining, but when I pulled into my driveway it was snowing like crazy :D I got together with a bunch of my freinds in the neighboorhood, and we hung out all day. It was snowing so hard, and we were soaked [and muddy] by the time we finished sledding. So the four of us went back to my freind Avery's house, got into our bathing suits, and started the most hot bath ever and all got in :P It was so fun. We also got school off today! So we played in the melting snow some, and then just hung out and made videos all day.

Now for the bad news:

Derek deosn't like me anymore /: And he now apparently likes my best freind who likes him also, who is best freind's with him :S I cried when she told me. But I'm going to be strong. Take it [or atleast try] in a good attitude. She took it extremely well and put on a happy face for me, so of course I had to do the same for her. She was scared I would be mad at one of them, but of course I never would. So life's pretty tough and depressing at the moment ;_; But he's not the only guy out there. They'll be tons of others. It just sucks that the only guy who has ever liked me back has to be in such an akward position like that. And I'm still crazy for him.

But anyways, now that we're on such a sad depressing moment, I must go :] My freind's and I are going to have omse hot chocolate now.